Saturday 7 March 2009

I have always said that there has to be good in everything. I could not sleep last night. Three strong painkillers failed to knock me out and I just felt drunk. As I lay there, I felt like I was in the eye of a storm -except that I had no choice but to contain the utter, utter rage inside.
Believe me - I am getting to the point, by 5am, I had smoked through the night and as a result of eating 2 meals in 5 days - threw up.
I am now, almost at my pre children weight. this is where I see a glimmer of light. When I am thinner, my breasts look bigger and this - at some point in the future, will come in handy.

My leg is very painful. I am going to a fancy shin dig next week where the average age of male is 28, a good self esteem booster I feel. I am getting concerned about the likely hood of wearing sexy heels. A friend phoned me in the morning to tell me that I was a foxy woman, funny, intelligent, though a little short, 'Not a problem though' she said 'You can wear high heels'

So now the pressure is on. If my leg is not improved, I cannot wear heels. If I don't where heels - no one will notice the new trim, slim me in my sexy dress and if they don't notice me - they might mistake my head for a foot stall.

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