A tricky day. Life is always tricky when you feel a rising sense of panic. I have been suffering a rising sense of panic for 24 hours. I slept for 2 hours. I woke up at 6.30am to walk the dog. I made lunches, I rouse reluctant children and got cross with them. I hate parents that shout in the morning. Today I start off by hating myself.

I struggled at the gym. Halfway through my work out, I burst into tears and had to retreat. I burst into tears because I am panicking. I am panicking because I feel overwhelmed. This is a roundabout and I need to get off. I may need 24 hours to relearn the art of breathing. Panicking solves nothing, I know this - I have been here before. Breathe

I also burst into tears because having done so well in the gym, I felt like a failure for struggling. I realise now what I had forgotten from the last few years,. Emotional exhaustion is physically more debilitating than physical exhaustion. I struggled at the gym because my mind is overwhelming me. I have foolishly put myself in a place where worrying about the future is impacting on the present. Bad move.

I helped in school this afternoon, It is my Monday thing. Not entirely selfish reasons. I figured that it would hold in good stead in case a job came up. In truth, I dread it and start feeling a little impatient. This is because I have so many other things that I need to do and they are constantly whirring in my head.

Within 10 minutes, you get why people work with children. Today I had to teach them straight stitching to complete their felt hand puppets. The concentration required meant for those 10 minutes, nothing else in their world mattered. They simply do not have the ability to multi think because this is the first time they have sewn. It takes monumental powers of concentration, all in hand eye co-ordination, manual dexterity and so on.

This is the beauty of children. To be able to concentrate solely on the task in hand. To have no question that you will achieve it, simply because someone has told you that you will.

Apparently we as parents, as teachers - are here to teach children. I think we may have that the wrong way around. If there is one thing having children does, is ground you. Even if it is just for a moment.