Baths New Dating Columnist

On another note. No one picked up on my suggestion of being a food critic last year. The thought of free meals was appealing but now I have moved on.

I want to be Baths very own dating columnist.

Large muscular men can apply. Tall is good but no stooping. Must have thighs like steel, no thick necks, pale jeans or high waisted trousers. No hairy big toes, must be funny in a dry wit way. Absolutely know knock, knock jokes and absolutely no interest in motor racing unless it is sponsorship.

Good looking men only and absolutely, crucially (or parallel with large toned arms) MUST have an IQ over 135.

That's 1 column next year then.