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Tuesday, 12 January 2010

I have an emotionally wobbly child. You know when they are seriously emotionally wobbly, when you ask if they are sad and their eyes fill up. Serious level stuff is the sudden shoving of face in your armpit and a refusal to come out. It lasted a good hour and was utterly heartbreaking.

We talked of everything and reassurance of all you could reassure for was offered. By morning and following a night with a small urine smelling individual clamped onto me, the same individual was found in the larder and the whole armpit routine was repeated. Tis tricky when dealing with the upset young - most of the time they are incapable of articulating what is going on themselves. They have had a disrupted routine over Christmas, I have seen little of them and they had a social calender this weekend that came with late nights. I suspect some insecurity. A normal week, potato and early nights are in order. I suspect getting them out of my bed will not happen with ease.

Another chat was called for this evening. It was explained that as a general rule of thumb, if an adult tells them to keep something from their mother, it undoubtedly a bad request. When an adult gets cross that something was not kept from their mother, it is a sign that there really may be a bit of an issue. No Enid Blyton at this door at the moment.

The thing is, 'stuff' always finds a way of coming out eventually. One of the things I find most fascinating about life, is the way in which it unravels itself. Before you is a web of connections that you never knew existed. You meet someone, there is what appears to be a co-incidence. From this many more grow. It is as if the whole thing was mapped out and in many ways, I believe it is. I don't believe in co-incidence. I believe that there is a reason behind every thing that happens. Every path you cross, every person you meet - it all has a meaning. It just may not be obvious at the time. Rest assured that at some time, maybe sooner, maybe later - it will all become very clear and at that point you will know with absolute certainty. Clarity is not the same as psychicness.

I attempted to get to the gym today. It is up a hill that I have avoided for fear of sliding off the side into oblivion. Today was a day of mission, finish the DIY and get to the gym. I didn't finish the DIY, though my plastering is a fine piece of work. I got as far as changing for the gym, driving there and hitting the drive way. This is when it got a tad hairy. How I made it past the car coming down the wrong one way, I am unclear.

The front of my car was heading forward but the back end was shaking its booty in spectacular fashion. I didn't even make it as far as the lower car park. It was clear that the only way out would be in a 4 wheel drive and I only knew 2 men with one of those. Neither were men I would phone and I didn't fancy dieing of exposure in a bid to place pride over survival. I did what any self respecting woman would do. I turned around, slid out and went to the pub for a very large glass of wine.

I am not entirely sure as to how the conversation of age came up. This barmaid and I have some unbelievable conversations and this was a relatively tame one

"How old are you then" asked the barmaid

"Oh, 53" say I

"Are you really" she says, with the absolute innocence of youth.

Wrong answer. Stupid of me really. So a short game off '10 years younger' took place - whereby you ask a couple of fellow bystanders how old the 53 year old at the bar is. Men are generally too scared to overage women so I instantly became 34. Much better.

Interestingly, men appear to be much more willing to lie about their age. I was looking on a dating website recently (it's a long story and no, I was not looking for a date) If you get bored look at men between 40 and 45. Now there is either something seriously wrong with my perception of men in this category, (though many do look a little tired by this age) or there are simply too many deluded men. I think I may know the answer to this already.

One local man is 43 and an entrepreneur. In reality, he is 53 and a trader. If you want honesty - do not look at a dating website. If you want truth, go and hail any man off the street and do not even consider a relationship unless you have a full psychological profile completed.

I said this to one man I dated.

" you can have any psychological profile completed on me" he said with utter confidence.

Beware the double bluff.

I made a doctors appointment today. I have an odd breast issue and have been avoiding dealing with it. I have had an issue twice before and all has been fine. The last time involved a very long needle and assurance that local anaesthetic would be more painful than simply shoving it in and sucking something out. This was a lie to.

Never believe a man with no breasts brandishing a long needle, that something is not going to hurt. It is a lie. It is possible that it would not have hurt, had he known which bit to extract from. He didn't. There was a lot of routing around and I can safely say that it was an eye watering experience. The last time there was an issue, it involved sleeping tablets. After events in the last few months I am resigned to curve balls and nothing stops me sleeping.

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