It seems puberty is no match for fear. This got me thinking again. Sometimes our fears are out of all proportion to reality. This predisposition to fear seems, for many of us, to get bigger as we get older.
The mouse will do no harm other than to the house. His irrational fear is that he will somehow be attacked by a two inch furry animal called Minnie. Nothing I say or do will convince this hormone ridden being, that the mouse will go nowhere near him. My sanctimonious comments regarding food in bedrooms make no difference either. He has an irrational phobia that the mouse will do something to him that no mouse has ever done to a human. As a result, I can not sleep with my legs straight.
I would like to advice him on irrational fears but I am not really in a position to. When the irrational fear takes over a part of your mind, people telling you what you should and shouldn't be scared of will make no difference. If I have a phobia of being truly open (which I may just have) people telling me I should be more open does not make me open. It makes me argue that I am open, even though I know I am not.
You can only ever see what you want to see, deal with what you want to deal with. If something is an issue the brain has a staggering ability to shut the door on it. What you refuse to see, is not there and if it's not there, you don't need to deal with it.
I was talking to my very cherished long standing male friend. I was telling him about the hypnotherapy thing. "It appears I may have an issue with allowing myself to appear vulnerable" I say.
Clearly having only acknowledged this recently, I expected trumpets and fanfares of some kind. At the very least I was hoping for some affirmation that I did not have an issue at all.
What I got was "Brilliant, finally you get it. You could have simply rung me up and I could have told you that'
It would seem that the only people that do not see what is going on, is the people that don't want to. He also told me that my issue with not telling people what I want will almost certainly not get me what I want. I am not convinced. Saying what you want is almost demanding it. IF you get your way by demanding it, then perhaps you shouldn't have it in the first place.
There was a debate in the car this afternoon. I sat waiting in the car park for a space whilst the children tapped toes impatiently.
"Can't you just drive up the road and find somewhere else to park?" asked the most impatient one
"Patience" said I "You need to learn that everything comes to those who wait"
This guaranteed that no one moved there car for a further 20 minutes. Even I was beginning to think I may be wrong. I was stuck between a rock and a hard place. I wanted to park and was bored of waiting. Moving meant that I had just taught them that nothing comes to those that wait. So we waited - with me smiling assuredly and like a lunatic. Thankfully someone moved, we got our place and I retained my short shelf life as a knowledgeable and wise Mother.
I so hope I am right. I hope that everything comes to those that wait. Sometimes my patience for the things I really want wears a little thin.
It was Mothers day today. I got a large jug of tea. This was quite exciting as I have never before been presented with tea in a jug. Middle child is apparently fed up of having to make 2nd cups of tea and thought today a good time to preempt the inevitable request. I also got three gingerbread love heart biscuits and only two requests to eat them for me. True love is getting gingerbread biscuits. True love is having to overlook the annihilation in the kitchen.
I was on strict instruction to lie in bed, sip tea, nibble biscuits and look at shoes on the Internet. It was very nice. Then I discovered what I truly wanted in life. A pair of the most stunningly beautiful 4inch Prada shoes. They were also stunningly expensive.
I have an irrational phobia that my life will never be truly complete
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