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Friday, 2 January 2009

Most people start the New Year with a bang. I, in my car crash life style, ended the old year with one and as a result have a trashed car. Word of warning to fellow Bath residents - when waving goodbye to the relatives that you have spent the festive period with, make sure that you look behind you before pulling out of your parking place.

On the plus side, the fact that it was at the end of the year, rather than the beginning, was a relief. Had I started the New Year with a car crash, then I would have to take it as a bad omen. Since it signaled the end of a dreadful year - things have to get better. Or so I hope.

When it happened I was stunned. Too stunned to move in fact, and by the time I did, the waving relative and his passenger had manually maneuvered their vehicle back into it's parking place. In the old days, it was customary to step out of the vehicle and enquire as to the health and well being of your victim. I can only assume that residents parking is at such a premium in Bath that they were worried that they may lose the space. If they had decided to simply stay in it in the first place, my day and theirs would have been a lot better.

The teenager decided to spend the evening teaching his mother (me) the ins and outs of how to download tunes onto an ipod. I have never really had the time to master it and as a result have a mere 8 tracks on mine. The computer screen started to blur after a few seconds as I realised that his ability to master the obvious, was considerably more advanced than mine. Frustrated by my ignorance he agreed to walking down memory lane. I made him find all the tunes that I used to bounce him up and down to, all the tunes that I played constantly in my teens and all the ones that made me cry in my 20's. By the end of it I was depressed and hoping that reincarnation was true - so that I could go back and start again.

Age may well make you see life more clearly, the years give you more wisdom and insight, but at this particular point in my life - I am not convinced it be such a good thing.

Took the younger ones on a very long dog walk with the Bitch. It should take 35 minutes but their legs are so short it took 2 hours. Child 2, despite warnings, decided he simply must walk across the ice. As predicted, it cracked and he was then firmly ensconced in thick mud. ' I am stuck' he cried. 'Well, there is only one thing for it' say I. 'You are going to take a photo aren't you' he said. He knows me too well. As he waded around for 15 minutes trying to release himself, I wept with laughter and filled another family album. Sometimes when you laugh like that you realise that you cannot remember that last time you did and that is the beauty of childhood, that the simple things are where real pleasure come from.

Whatever happens in life, children are beautiful, precious and with you for a short time. Life is full of hurt, pain, blame and opportunity to damage. The only time that you stand any chance of true love and happiness - is when others are protecting you from the bigger picture that is life. The longer that protection lasts, the more chance you have of growing up to be able to provide the same for others.

In a bid to carry on this idea of protecting children from the harsh reality that is life, I need a job. I tried searching on the Internet for career options for a tired woman, looked after children for 15 years and so no real skills, no longer qualified, needs long holidays, short hours and good money - nothing came up. Actually it did, but nothing legal and nothing my age would not have a detrimental affect on.

Stumped. I shall definitely advise my boys not to become stay at home mothers.

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