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Wednesday, 7 January 2009

How very exciting, I had a comment about the courtesy car and my failure to consider how needlessly large it is and the chaos I cause around Bath. I had also failed to consider the zero chance of survival for anything more considerate. 

Feeling open minded, I considered these points and after much mental debate I went out at 1am and stole a donkey. The children were less than happy at being woken up at 2am to go to school but when you live in the country, and school is some distance away - it takes some time to hitch up the cart and donkeys are after all, pretty slow. The children were quite cold and tired when they got there but as I pointed out - the only other option was a car that would fail to accomodate them all and being towed would be painful. Obviously,  I attached a colostomy to the Donkey for fear of any methane escaping.

I must have done pretty well in the 24 hours that I had the car, everything in my path survived and having checked the online news, it seems that no nightmares had occurred.  It does seem rather unjust that whilst driving many people in my people carrier that it was in fact a small people friendly vehicle that anhialated my car. Maybe it was not an accident at all, maybe he wanted to make it clear that people with large families should simply not go out. He was clearly right. Had I not taken my large family out in my large people carrier, I would still have a car.

Anyhow, I have contacted the Insurance company and informed them how outrageous it was to provide a vehicle that would fit all the car seats, children and a dog and they have kindly agreed to investigate the cost of a stable for the donkey. In true spirit I shall contact 'It' later and tell him to get rid of his vehicle too. I am not sure of the capability of an electric car in hauling motorbikes across Salisbury plain but I am sure that they are suitable for all useage and I am sure that he will be obliging.

I slept poorly last night. Obviously the guilt of accepting my courtesy car played a large part but so was the chin chaff that I suffered. Cold and exhausted, I climbed into bed, pulled the covers over me and felt a horrid grating sensation on my chin. I then realised the disadvantage of allowing your children to climb into bed with you - they use your duvet as a method of wiping their noses. Then it dries.

So this is now my life, 40, single mother, snotty quilts and a donkey. Does it get better?

2 comments:

Ashton Lamont said...

The same thing happened to a friend of mine in Worthing (not the one that owns a field there but the other one, Tony).

bobbins said...

Heh, just you wait till the donkey's vet bills start coming in :-)