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Tuesday, 16 June 2009

I never called myself Mrs, which in the circumstances - is pretty convenient. I never changed my surname which is even better. I have never really thought too much about it but having pondered the relevance of it today - I realised that titles own you and I hate being owned.

The thought process started at work when the shift supervisor referred to me as 'her' staff. It grated, I am not 'her staff' I go to work, I do a job. She in turn goes to work and does a job and yet this does not make her 'my' boss, just a manager for the period she is in the building.

So take the marriage thing. I am not (clearly) someone's wife. I chose to get married and whilst I accept that the female name for a married person is in  fact 'wife' - I would never refer to myself as someone's wife. Likewise, I hate it when people say 'housewife'. I once went to a party and met the then Managing Director of Emap

"So what do you do" he asked.

I was momentarily flummoxed.

"I sleep with your Art Director" I replied.

 I was pleased quite pleased with my reply, particularly when he swiftly moved on to the next, more normal wife who thought in terms of title rather than what she did.

Yet we live by titles and some of those are just fine. Small child said to me this evening that I was the best Mother that he had ever had.

"I am the only Mother you have ever had"

"Yes but you are the only one that looks after us and you are the loveliest" he replied, whilst squirming in an 'I am all loved up' kind of way. Now clearly, this is a title that I am happy to live with, though I suspect that his sentiments will be less heart string tugging once he reaches an age where I can ground him and Mother is followed by a rude word.

I got another title this week, for I am apparently a MILF. The age of the one so generous was borderline - I think he may need to think in terms of Grand MILF. I am not sure about being flattered. I think there are more flattering ways of putting it but I guess it leaves options open. 

So, can I call myself this? If you meet me at a party would it be okay to say I am a MILF in progress?

I have been reading a self help book about my erroneous zones. I thought I would deal with this before I moved on to my erogenous zones. Interesting reading and I am now starting to annoy people. A friend said to me today

 "I failed my challenge this week"

I replied

"You have not failed your challenge - you have learnt the consequences of not fulfilling the task you set yourself and therefore you have learnt from it. This is a positive experience. "

I fear that if I read any more - I may get punched in the nose. However it has made me also realise that 'It' should be very grateful to me and very charming, rather that really quite aggressive in his manner. His life was F***** hell and he is now happily with someone else. I think this deserves gratitude. If I had not made his life hell then this new happiness would not have been possible.  Frankly, I think that deserves thanks. 

 Some people are simply ungrateful.



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