Going round in circles no more - Excuse me Sir, you are misaken.

I recently had a conversation with someone on the pros's and cons of counselling versus NLP. I was never one for counselling, picking over the cherry stones has never been my bag. I am too good at analysing to have enough faith in anyone to do it for me.

It appears that someone that was once very important to me, has been a little confused over my rambling and has mistaken light bulbs for wallowing. Let me explain the difference:

Wallowing is when you accept the way you are and the situation around you as something that just is. Something that you can do nothing about. Light bulbs are when you see the obvious for the first time, despite it maybe being obvious to others. When you see the self defeating circles that you have created around yourself and the impact they have had on the choices you have made, and the paths you have walked.

Lightbulb is when you see it for what it is. Self defeating.

The joy of the NLP is that it allows you to see this, acknowledge it and slowly, kiss goodbye to it all.

Whatever the reasons I have done things, whatever the things that I have done are - seeing how they are all interlinked has been fascinating. There have been times of recent note that have challenged me. The truth was simple. The way I had been dealing with life, was no longer working. This is not wallowing, this is slowly embracing.

So now I have to be different, now I have to face the fears that prevented me having the career that I could have had, the relationships that I felt I deserved and the life that I choose. There is no longer anyone else making decisions in which I have no say and this alone, has to be one of the best things that could have happened.

Yes, facing your demons is tricky but when you realise that the only person that has truly prevented anything happening, is yourself - it is time to take a deep breath and get on with it.

Little things, like an aversion to calling people I don't know have had to be dealt with. Unless I can call people, I cannot earn money, so I have to call people. It is staggeringly simple. Hard but simple.

Being the source of financial support for 4 children is daunting, but I have no choice. No one else is offering to do it for me. In solving those issues, I am taking control and this is an exciting thought.

In accepting that I have made poor choices in relationships, I can start putting my needs first and not putting up with other peoples issues when those issues start to affect me.

This is the start of a new life, a great one. It is not about wallowing it is about light bulbs.

On another note. Yesterday I gave away a large tub of specialist paint finish on freecycle. Today I posted for perspex sheets for the garden shed windows. This evening, the person who took the paint finish, sent their son around with two perspex windows. Not content with giving them away, he insisted on fitting them as well.

Sometimes, life is just peachy.