Monday 12 April 2010

Bikini lines, gorgeous knickers and ex husbands

Uncharacteristically, I had some odd thoughts today.

Yesterday I had to sort the lawn out. By the time I had finished, my feet looked like that of a Nepalise Goat Herder. So last night I had to embark on a home based pedicure. things like this bore me senseless. Necessary but mind blowingly boring. For some reason I was humming the tunes to 'Head, shoulders, knees and toes' and pondered something. If most men are like older hairier versions of small boys, then where do women fit in to childhood? The answer is in the nursery song. Life as a woman is a repetative cycle of 'Head, shoulders, knees and toes'.

You sort your toes out and then you realise your eyebrows need tending. Eyebrows regained and your fingernails are atrocious. Get around to that and your bikini line is need of order. Suitably buff and your toenails need adjustment again. In between all of this you have to reseed the lawn, wash the car, make dinner, unblock the toilet and fix the dodgy light switch. I am beginning to see why there are so many women that do not bother.

I went to the car boot sale in Lacock yesterday. I came back with all sorts of things I could have lived without. My most exciting item was a wire coat hanger. Thrilled, because I had a toilet to unblock and I had no intention of using anything that would not be disposed of immediately. This is now becoming a weekly and very unpleasant task. The little ones are determined to be independent but not accountable. Independence means blocking the toilet. Blocking the toilet means I gag. Great. I am hoping it will not last long.

Whilst on the random thought process, my random thoughts turned to underwear. I have a couple of pieces I particularly like. One pair are rarely worn. 'Tres stylish, but with a couple of ribboned ties on each side of the hip - they are hardly the most practical undergarment.

It got me thinking on how clothing design. Trousers are designer to cover your legs, tops are designed to cover your top. Knickers take no account of bikini lines at all. You buy beautiful underwear but they will only look beautiful if you have kept up to date with bikini line removal. I have no issue with this, but am left wondering why the same does not apply to a hat. If you someone buys a hat they do not remove the hair that is left around it. If they removed the hair protruding from the Beanie they would look very odd. If you don't remove the hair around the knicker line, you look very odd.

"Tis all odd, but possibly not as odd as me.

As another irrelevant point. The nearly ex husband and I had a rather large argument today. I realised something else. My mind has moved from the point he left to now. Now is the only relevant point. I realised that his mind is still in the lead up to him leaving. We are not in the same place.

To me, the past cannot be changed, you can only earn from it and move forward. Holding onto it means that you cannot let go of bitterness, blame and anger. I finally realised today that no matter what I say, when these three emotions are attached to every conversation - no conversation is ever going to be a productive one.

I do not think there is any logic that can be attached to the situation.

Today I realised that it is pointless even trying.

So on that note I am just going to accept that we are in very different places. I am going to concentrate on raising and supporting these 4 beautiful but slightly smelly boys. I have no real idea how I will meet the financial costs over their lifetime but I will do it. I will do it because that is what you do as a parent. You move heaven and earth to protect and provide for your children.

Further more, I shall have a perfectly tended bikini line and gorgeous knickers.

No comments: