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Wednesday, 30 December 2009

Boots and Breasts.

A friend of mine has offered me her thighs. Such a kind gesture. I read an article on breast implants from body fat and rather liked it. Having once written an article for a motoring section that included on the effects of silicone toxicity in the event of collision - it has rather put me off the idea of filling breasts with the stuff. Body fat, that is another matter. Apparently they suck the fat of your thighs and inject it into your breasts. Voila, natural breast implants.

Only I have no fat on my thighs. Weighing in at 7 stone 2, allows little for marvelously enhanced mammories. Suck it out of my thighs and I will end up looking like a question mark. Hence the offer. I am not convinced that someone else fat would really work. There may be issues with rejection. On the other hand, rejection is something I handle well. This could be the way to go.

Boots - Mine have served me well. I have F*** Me Boots, which worked superbly. They then became F*** You Boots, which also worked for me. Last week I forgot about common sense and ran across ice in 4 inch heeled boots. They became F*** Me boots once more but not in the way I had enjoyed so much previously. I am now looking for a new pair.

There a couple of elderly people in my village that have discovered this blog. It makes for such fun. I imagine that even with the *** they will be having a fit. Don't worry, I took the boots off.

The police turned up yesterday for the fact that someone had reported a vehicle with no tax. The police were very understanding of the reasons why. So far in the last month I have had the visit from the police, a warrant of execution on one utility, another cut off and an invitation to the Jeremy Kyle show. I may be lying about the last bit. We are economising on utilities out of necessity. We lasted 1 week with no heating. The children were to cold to get in bed so we had a family conference and decided to turn it back on LOW. We are all fine as long as you hang onto the radiator. If we lose our home we should be sufficiently practised that we can downsize to an appropriate telephone kiosk.

One major cut back is use of the tumble dryer. God, drying clothes naturally is so tedious. Not only do they take three months to dry with no heating, they are creased and you have to iron them. Middle child was given the task of hanging wet clothes on the airer yesterday. He thought that standing on it and breaking the leg may change my position. It did, now we just have wet clothes.

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