I have written before about my lack of flirting skills and they rose their head again this weekend. Except, I am beginning to wonder if it is not my flirting skills that are the issue but everyone else's.
Flirting in 2013 seems to be more about sexual explicitness than any meaningful titalation and I am fairly certain that it is not a skill I have much wish to learn. It is no longer about seduction and nor is it necessarily specific to the person receiving it, but seemingly just another string to the bow of porn.
I entered into some texting with a man that I simply have never understood but to be fair, he is attractive and someone you would certainly consider worth flirting with. It moved from a bit of flirting to overtly sexual pretty rapidly and I was simply not comfortable with where it was going. Had I already slept with him, I would have enjoyed it for he wasn't without good word skills and to be fair, nothing he said was crude. But we haven't slept together, we probably never will and since he only makes contact when he is away, I suspect that in a moment of boredem - he thought he would just make use of the mobile phone for a bit of fun.
And so now I am sexually frustrated. Indeed, he wrote such that I couldn't help but think "That would be very nice, thank you very much" and had he been here, I'd have been pretty pleased to know he was thinking in such manner. But that isn't what it was about and now I am frustrated. I had got quite used to the sexual desert but now frankly, I am feeling a little robbed. So why do men text women with things they would like to do, that they have no intention of doing?
And there are so many men that use mobile phones for meaningless sexual pleasure. I should imagine that the printed porn industry has seen a decline in profit in the last few years. Fertility units will no longer have to produce magazines for men to produce, they will simply need to make sure they have 3G in a private room.
So how did we get to place in which people text each other sexual suggestion that they have absolutely no intention of seeing through. Phone sex is nothing new, when I was younger and couldn't see my boyfriend, it was the way to go but it involved actually knowing the person because you had to speak with them. Unless of course, you were paying for a service. And perhaps this is the change, texting dismisses the need for personal contact and makes sexting with just about anyone a free service, giving you access to a multitude of contacts that may be willing to play ball. So to speak.
Yet its more than that, we have become a society in which meaningless encounters are more common than anyone actually getting to know each other. Someone being attracted to you doesn't mean anything any more. It simply means they probably just want sex. And its all a little insulting, that a man that is clearly not interested, feels free to get sexual by text. Seriously, how sad is it than in a society where self gratification is so easy and sex so freely given that we appear to have anaesthetised ourselves to needing to know someone. Sex with someone who's body and mind you actually like - is so much better
A close friend regularly benefits from text images of mens pride and joys in her inbox, which may be pretty amusing to see but really, I know few women that are genuinely turned on by a picture of someones penis. Women don't tremble in excitement, they simply assess it and there are few things men like less than being compared. These are invariably not men interested in a relationship, they are just men that want someone to help them through a moment of self gratification. And as men get off to the 'mmmmmmm' in reply, they should know the truth. Women are not moaning when they tap in mmmmm, the are simply speechless and bored. The same can be said of ummmmmm.
I love my mobile phone, at times I love social media but I do not love it enough for send pictures of me baring all. The truth is, I love my reputation more. In a relationship or someone I am dating, I'd happily be as suggestive and since I excel at innuendo, a lot of fun could be had, but sending men I don't really know overtly sexual texts, is just a little weird. Particularly when it is pretty clear that the only contact they want is when they are bored.
So my reputation remains in tact but I am more sexually frustrated than ever before.