Sometimes one post naturally follows another. Since the last post was all about what a rubbish flirt I am, then it makes sense this one should prove it. And it does.
Whilst I am a rubbish flirt, I am pretty good at banter. Banter with innuendo is my forte but my real strength lies in ambiguity. Pretty handy since a lot of the people who enter my life are equally ambiguous.
Then throw social media into the equation, alongside the real reason behind modern day inability to communicate effectively -texting, and you have my very own recipe for disaster.
And so begins a texting fest with someone who crossed my path through social media. It is undoubted that this occurred through my love of posting pictures of my shoes but since I love shoes, it's not unreasonable. With that, followed a fair few months of texting and then we met up. Far cuter than I ever expected, I was completely flummoxed. When you only know someone through flirtatious texting, it's quite tricky knowing how to handle normal conversation. After all, if you have built a level of communication based only on this, then normal conversation would be as disappointing as discovering the voluptuous woman is merely a silicone fillet girl. So I did what I do best when thrown - I made an arse of myself.
So the story went on. We met a couple of more times but it was both confusing and mystifying. Flirtatious texting and a gentleman in flesh. I shouldn't complain since my idea of sexy, is a man with manners. Equally, I quite like men that you can tell if they find you attractive and this one - gave NOTHING away.
Perplexed as my mind lurched from 'If you just want to be friendly with people, then why flirt in texts?' to the 'If you are flirting in texts then why are you the absolute opposite on meeting.' It was most unsettling. And he was, so I thought, an apparently genuine man which to me, was pretty out of my comfort zone since a) I rarely meet genuinely nice men and 2) I am never attracted to genuinely nice men and always place them firmly into my chums pocket. A totally new experience to meet a man who came across as genuine that I not only liked, but actually fancied. Now that is what you call progress.
Except that I couldn't work out what it was he wanted. So I took advice from an ex man in life, who put his head in hands in despair at my inability to interpret. He was equally despairing of my own ambiguity and forced my hand in doing something that I find immensely difficult, which is to let my guard down.
So I sent a text that simply said I had been thinking of him. Now anyone who knows me will stand testimate that I can be very honest with those I care about, but those that I am unsure of will be subjected to a barge of smart arse answers and aserbic wit. What they won't get is honesty. So steeled by a vodka, the support of ex man in life's wisdom - I sent a text that simply stated the truth, that I had been thinking of him. And as I sat there squirming, I thought 'Really, how bad can this be, months of texting, three meet ups, cute face, nice thighs......