I have spent the last 12 hours really thinking about what it is I want in life. It's not diamonds, fast cars or mansions. What I really want - is the back of my neck nuzzled. If I get really lucky, I might get someone happy to kiss the small of my back and that would simply be the icing on the cake.

Whilst I really, really want my neck nuzzled, I am nowhere near being ready for someone to nuzzle and that, I can see - is going to cause some frustration. Many years ago, I tried very hard to have a one night stand. It almost worked. I stared at him, he stared at me, I stared some more and then he asked me if I wanted to go back to his house. I said yes because I really did want to go back to his house. He was the best looking 18 year old I had ever seen and I knew exactly what I would be letting myself in for. I really wanted to have a sordid passionate evening from which he would never recover. Instead, it turned into a fairly intense 6 month relationship in which I enjoyed pretty much every moment.

I had completely forgotten about this until he recently posted a photograph of his teen bedroom on the internet. It was so...... orange and with a lot of brown. There was no excuse, it wasn't even the 70's. It momentarily marred my memory. I remember a tall boy with unnerving self confidence, I remember kindness, affection and intimacy. I remember getting little sleep. I don't remember the dodgy furnishings, the single bed and the punk posters on the wall. This is good, as is the fact that my one attempt at a sordid fling instantly turned into a rather exciting relationship.

So yes, I want my neck nuzzled and I have a picture in my head of the kind of man that I would like to be nuzzling by but there will be no one night stands and meaningless relationships and that is because I am more than a body, more than a quickie and when someone gets to nuzzle my neck - I anticipate letting them nuzzle for a very long time.

God, if only you could FF your life...